so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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