Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
