Cold hands, warm shart.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
