ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
