I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
