Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
