I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
