sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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