I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
