the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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