I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
im six kinds of drunk right now
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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