i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize