Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I have feelings that need drinking.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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