Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
