i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize