I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize