Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
