I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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