She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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