Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
