Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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