she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize