yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
