just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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