I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
