Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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