I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
