Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
