Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
A+ Viking dick
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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