dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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