what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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