I'm really into asian looking animals
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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