I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
