im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
You smell like a Billy Joel song
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
