id be glad to
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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