Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
