yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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