Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm like, not good at living.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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