Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
