you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
