pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
