He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
