Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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