Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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