Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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