You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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