It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
