I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
the liver wants what the liver wants
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
