come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
