i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You have to summon your inner elephant
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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