I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
