if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
