it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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