Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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