So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
