It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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