She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
