Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
