Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
