Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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