Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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