i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
